Lessons Learned in 2018, Part One

Hello my beautiful magical folks!

December is almost half over, and I just can’t get my mind off the fact that we’re so close to starting a new year! How did that happen?

But before I get all crazy about New Year’s Resolutions and all that jazz, I wanted to take a little bit of time and think about all the things I learned in 2018, because it was a huge year for me in a lot of ways. I mean, I basically decided to stay where I’m at indefinitely, at least location-wise. I got engaged, and then married. I started riding my horse again, and learned a lot about how to take care of my mental health.

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Life never ends up the way you expected. Even when you get the things you want, it never happens exactly the way you thought it would. I thought I would be gearing up to graduate with my BA this coming spring, but I’ve been out of school for a year and a half now and my tentative plans for going back involve a complete change of major, which would mean another 3+ years of school. That’s not what I had in mind. I never really thought I would get married until I had finished school and at least had a good job and my own life figured out, and I certainly had no intention of having kids or at least not until I was closer to 30. Well, I did get married and our plans for having kids are definitely not including waiting even 5 more years. Basically, my life right now is completely different from what I thought it would be. Sometimes that is difficult to accept. (Don’t get me wrong here though, I am crazy in love with my husband and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now.)

It’s one thing to accept that my current life isn’t exactly what I thought it would be – although I’m pretty sure right now that it’s much better than my original idea! It’s another thing to look ahead and realize that everything is different now. I thought I would be graduating next year and even though I’m not, I still want to, eventually. The hard part is the fact that I’m really not sure when that will end up happening. I think that’s the hardest thing of all… still having the same dreams and ideas about what I want to do in the future (plus some new ones!)  but having the timeline and the knowledge about how it’s going to happen is totally floopy now. I like that word. Floopy.

We all know that I love me a good, organized, pretty planner. And my anxiety issues mean that it’s difficult to just go with the flow when things don’t go according to what I wrote down in that fabulous flowery planner. But we also know that it is extremely rare to have even one day that goes exactly as planned. It just doesn’t happen. And then, with a roommate for part of the year and a husband for the other part, or even just being in a relationship at all, it has been that much harder to stick to an exact plan. I’ve had more people relying on me or needing my attention than I was used to when I was on my own and in college, and it’s forced me to become a lot more flexible. Trust me, I still use my planner, but, I have learned so much about not sweating the small things and finding my priorities, even in the midst of a busy planner and an even busier life.

The last thing on my list for today is about what I’ve learned in the area of communication. Especially with the entire process of getting married, I’ve had to learn a lot about how to communicate with people, both in my relationship and also with regular people in general. Y’all, my husband is an absolute saint. The amount of stuff he has to put up with just by being around me, let alone living with and dealing with me all the dang time, is more than any one man should have to deal with. And yet he still continues to take care of me, support all my insane ideas, and has never once complained or gotten upset. Seriously, I am absolutely horrible at saying what’s on my mind, explaining what is wrong when I’m upset, or just being around people in general. And I certainly don’t think I’ve actually improved all that much over the past year (hopefully a little though), but I do think I’m much more aware of exactly what I need to work on, and I’m trying to get better. Long road ahead though.

There’s more than that, of course, but I didn’t want to squish everything into one post… so I’ll be back yet before the end of the year with part two!

Until then, my lovelies,

Love and kindness!

Posted by Katharine Espinosa

Katharine is a freelance writer, editor, and aspiring author. She loves coffee, chocolate, cats, and riding her horses on the weekends. She lives in rural Texas with her husband and daughter.

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