Lessons Learned, Part Two

Hello darling magical people!

We’re just a few days away from 2019, so it’s high time I finish up with the reflection thing, don’t you think? I’ve got all my goals and New Year’s Resolutions sorted out, and I’m ready for the fresh start!

Continuing from last time and all the things I learned about communication, I’ve also had a huge learning curve about everything it takes to be married. Obviously, it’s been amazing and the best thing I’ve ever done in my life, but that doesn’t mean it was also the easiest. We really don’t ever fight, which I know some people simply won’t believe, but honestly I just don’t think believe it is in either of our natures to really fight. We have definitely had our disagreements, but they’ve been more or less calm. The biggest thing for me is just learning to open up enough. I’m not good at that anyways, but the amount that it takes to maintain a close, intimate relationship is extremely difficult for me. I’ve just always been uncomfortable with that amount of closeness. I’m getting better, but it’s still not automatic for me. I have to work on opening up every single time, and then after those times when we have a really deep, intimate discussion about something, then I feel like I’m good and don’t have to try as hard for the next week or two. And yes, I know I’ve got that all warped and weird, but like I said, I’m definitely improving. And he thinks I am too, so that’s what counts, right?

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Our wedding will always be my favorite memory of 2018. (PC: Oak Flat Photography)

It’s been an interesting year in the way of friendships too. I’ve gained a lot of people in my life – I have a whole new family that I’m now a part of, new friends that I inherited from the SO, people I’ve become friends with at work, and a few people from the church I attend. I’ve also lost some friends, almost solely due to the fact that I am a terrible communicator and can disappear off the radar for days or weeks at a time (sorry to you guys). I still feel bad about those. I’ve grown distant from some other people, not due to anything in particular except for circumstances and situations. For those, I miss you and I still love you. Our lives are just going in different directions now.

Basically, I’ve learned a lot about what I value in a friendship. I’ve started to tune into the people that I know won’t steal my energy from me and just limit my time with the people who do. Honestly that’s been harder than I thought, just because I can never not feel guilty for putting my own mental health first. It’s hard to do that, at least for me. But I’m getting better about it – and having The Husband helps a lot, since he knows what makes me tick or what I need at any given moment, and has been awesome about saying no for me or just telling me that I should probably rethink certain relationships.

Along with the lessons I’ve learned about how to handle and take care of all of my relationships, I’ve gotten a very handy lesson about stepping back from situations and commitments sometimes. It’s been a hard lesson to learn, since I have always had a difficult time saying no to anyone, but when it starts to affect other areas of my life, then it’s definitely time to do something. I had to take a step back from several different commitments in my life over the course of the year. At first I thought that it was because I was planning a wedding and I just needed the extra time to focus on that. But now that we’ve been married for almost four months and our lives are a lot more stable and our schedules have calmed down a bit, I’m realizing that I needed that step back anyways. I’ve been a lot happier, more relaxed, and more easy going since I gave myself that extra space. Lesson learned, I guess!

Overall, 2018 involved a lot of shifting in my life. I’m thankful for every single part of it, don’t get me wrong, but I’m definitely ready for the fresh slate of the new year.

I’m going to do something different this coming Monday and just ramble a little bit about my 2019 goals. None of them are super exciting, honestly, but still fun!

Love and kindness!

Katharine Marie

Posted by katharine_marie

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