Anxiety Plus Some

Hello beautiful readers!

Today is Friday and I am so ready for this week to be over! It seems like it has dragged on for an eternity!

Sometimes it feels like I get weary of writing blog posts that deal with nothing except how things in my life are going or how I’ve been feeling lately. Even when there’s really nothing else for me to write about – I’m still getting the hang of writing about things other than my personal life – it still gets to be overwhelming at times.

And yet, here I go… doing it again. I guess it’s a pattern!

This week, I’ve felt rather stressed out for a variety of reasons, most of which are outside my control, and which I really don’t need to go into detail about right now. But it’s created a struggle in my mind about how much I really need to deal with… similar to when I’ve struggled with finding a balance between work and personal life. That one, I believe is a constant struggle.

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A lot of what is happening in my head this week bears strong similarities to my general anxiety issues. Usually I’m reasonably good at dealing with my anxiety. I have strategies that I use to help get through situations and problems.

But now, adding the hormones and mood swings that pregnancy has so graciously handed me into the mix, and its suddenly so much harder to deal with these anxieties in the same way.

Even though I might be able to use the same strategies to get through a situation, now I have an overload of other emotions to also deal with. And what usually happens is that even the simplest of problems can devolve into tears and unreasonable frustration and just complete depression.

Of course, I’m not saying that it’s constantly this bad all day long, every day, but I do have to try a lot harder to keep everything in check, especially when I’m at work and its not really the greatest idea to fall apart in front of customers. (It is unbelievable how rude some people can be!)

I keep telling myself that I’m also having to deal with all the anxieties that come along with becoming a mom. The whole idea that this is something that is happening to me is something that still blows my mind at times – it doesn’t feel real. Of course, I’m incredibly excited and totally in love with this little baby already, but it is still a huge adjustment and I don’t always deal well with change. This is something that I think I’ll blog about a little more in a few weeks.

It probably isn’t surprising that I generally feel more emotionally stable and less anxious when I have my husband around. He is nothing but supportive and it’s so much easier to relax when he’s physically present. Sometimes just being home, even if I’m by myself, is helpful too, but not always. I like my house clean and semi-tidy, but ever since I’ve been pregnant I have not had the energy to keep things up to my own personal standard, and that can become a big stressor. I try to remind myself that I need to store my energy to grow this tiny human so it’s okay to rest in the evenings, that even if J isn’t doing all the chores that I would end up doing, he’s still keeping the house very presentable and tidy, and there will be plenty of chances to get things done on the weekends on other days where I end up having more energy.

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This whole post is really just a mess of thoughts, but maybe now I’ll be able to write up a more cohesive post for next week. I’m splitting my writing time between the blog and my project for Camp Nanowrimo, but I’m just really glad to be able to blog on a consistent basis again. It makes me happy! Hopefully I can keep up the consistency at least until this child gets here and I have to completely readjust my schedule again.


Love and kindness!

Katharine Marie

Posted by katharine_marie

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