Focus or Priority

Hello dear readers!

I have been on a roll this month! Two blog posts every week and my 7th so far? I think my goal was 8 posts for the month, so we are well on our way! Claps for me!

No, just kidding. I’ve been ahead on a bunch of things this month (and behind on several, per the usual) so it’s not that surprising. But I am glad anyways. So let’s jump in.

Last week I wrote about all the things that I wasn’t really satisfied with in my everyday life and wished I could change. And then a few days later I wrote about all the beautiful wonderful things in my life that make it worth living. Neither of those posts were particularly exciting, but they were leading up what I wanted to talk about today. And that is the struggle of making – and keeping up with! – priorities.

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I’ll be the first to tell you that I am terrible about priorities, so I’m the last person you should be taking advice from. But it is something that I have struggled with over the last few years.

A lot of my personal struggle comes from the fact that my anxiety likes to distract me in a big way. For example: I have about three hours of time with my husband in the evenings. Obviously he is the higher priority, but regardless of how well I know that, I still find myself distracted because the floor should be swept or I have an unfinished project. And then because I’m unable to give him my full attention I feel like I’ve failed him and myself by not being able to stay true to “my priorities”.

That’s one example and there are many more, of course. Basically I have a struggle with priorities. Part of this is my anxiety and part of it is my health is not very consistent so I often have to take time off from everything to rest.

And yes, I know what I’m saying – my health should be the first priority, right? And that’s true. But even though I’ve improved over time, I’m still not very good at taking care of myself. Being pregnant actually helps because I have to take care of the baby, which at this point means taking care of me.

One of the mistakes I’ve made in the past was to have too many priorities. I had all these things that were important to me and I tried to spend some time on each of them on a regular basis. And wouldn’t you know it – I ran myself down trying to get to all of them.

There are several articles out there that recommend only having 3-5 actual priorities. This isn’t to say that everything else isn’t important. Instead it’s about how you look at everything else. If my priority is my mental health, then I shouldn’t be spending all my time helping my friends with all their various problems. That doesn’t mean that my friends aren’t important to me, just that I have to put things into perspective a little.

A lot of times we tend to look at priorities as something that determines how we spend our time and our energy. And to some extent it is. But for me, setting priorities is more about changing the way I look at what I allow into my life. It’s putting certain things first and focusing only on what is conducive to those things.

And that looks different for everyone.

For me, right now, it means saying no more often. It means setting my phone aside or turning off the TV a lot more. It means making sure I get enough sleep, even though the house isn’t really cleaned yet.


So I’m curious… what do priorities look like for you?

Love and kindness,

Katharine Marie

Posted by katharine_marie

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