Leaning Into Time

Hello lovely readers,

It honestly does not seem like two weeks since I last posted, but I guess it has been. The Thanksgiving holiday just threw me way off! Hopefully the holiday was great for you! I still had work the days before and after and we split the day between family for the first time but it was good anyways.

The Tiny Princess was still refusing to sleep very well up until a few days ago and I thought I was about to lose my mind. Thankfully for everyone, she either moved past a growth spurt or just figured out how to sleep again (who knows with babies) and we are all a lot more rested and happy again. Two weeks of super messed up sleep was probably pushing my limits a little!


Maybe its because I’m more rested again, but I’m also finally getting into the Christmas spirit! We put up our tree this past weekend and even though I have to chase the cats out of it on a regular basis, it’s nice to have the lights and the d├ęcor around. Maybe this weekend we’ll finally put some lights on the front porch. I hope.

Last time I talked a little bit about how I’m trying not to look ahead too far and how I don’t want to spend the holiday season just planning for the next year. So far it’s working. I have moments that I’ll get excited about a random thought, but I’m still just jotting those ideas down for later consideration. Mostly. I think it’s helping, although having my job plans a little up in the air doesn’t make it easy to leave alone mentally.

Watching the stores fill up and the busyness increase the closer we get to Christmas, the more I want to just slow down… or just run away from it all. Either way. It’s hard to deal with the tensions that come with what is supposed to be such a joyous season, but I’m doing the best I can. I focus on choosing one person’s gift per day and just appreciate the fact that I got my tree up even if I didn’t fully decorate the whole house like I wanted to. I’m trying to choose only one or two cookie recipes instead of making a hoard of treats like I feel I should be doing. Basically, I want to do all the holiday things but there is no way I could ever actually do them all so I’m learning to be okay with only doing the few most important ones. It’s hard for me, because, like I’ve mentioned before, I put a lot of pressure on myself to be some kind of perfect woman and we all know I’m very VERY far from being that.

I didn’t do a goals post for December for that very reason – this month is the one that I’m taking to practice slowing down. I won’t remember in five years whether I baked eight different types of cookies for Christmas, but I will remember the moments that I sat by the tree with the baby, playing and laughing about all the glittering ornaments. And the week where The Husband made me watch a different Christmas movie every night because he couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen them.

January will be bringing a whole new adventure, so it’s extra important that I continue to lay low for the month of December in order to be ready for what is coming. I’m thinking of writing a post about buying gifts next week and beyond that I’m not entirely sure what I’ll write before the New Year. We shall see what happens.

Although this post is basically a continuation of what I wrote two weeks ago, it still rings very true for me. My mind is an insane place to live a lot of the time and it takes a lot of work to be in the moment – it is an ongoing struggle, one I will deal with for the rest of my life, but it is worth the work for the memories that come out of it.

So what about everyone else? Everyone has a different way of dealing with the holiday chaos and I’m always curious about what someone else might do in similar situations.

Regardless of how you might be handling it though, I’m sending love and light to everyone who is having a rough time this holiday season. No matter the reason behind your struggle, I feel for you, and I hope things start looking up and that this Christmas brings you healing and joy.

Love and kindness and holiday cheer!

Katharine Marie

Posted by Katharine Espinosa

Katharine is a freelance writer, editor, and aspiring author. She loves coffee, chocolate, cats, and riding her horses on the weekends. She lives in rural Texas with her husband and daughter.

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