The Throes of the Holiday Season

Hi there lovely readers!

Even though I took the pressure off of myself to write regularly in December, it still makes me feel a little guilty about the two weeks since my last post. Whoops.

But regardless, today is mostly a collection of loose ends that need to be wrapped up before the end of the year. Christmas is less than a week away and I’m actually enjoying the chaos of the last minute shopping, baking and scrambling to get to all the parties and family get-togethers. Consider this an update of a post, if you will.

Life in General

We’ve been getting a little more sleep again lately, but the Tiny Princess sometimes likes to fuss herself to sleep, which… I’m proud of her when she’s able to put herself to sleep, but if she’s fussing at all then I’m not sleeping either. So that’s fun.

Most of our time just revolves around taking care of the baby for right now except for the times we go to see family or to church. It makes for a very routine-based life, which is something that I am quite okay with right now. Being a working mom is really tough for me as it is, so anytime we get off of a routine I don’t do well at all.

The Holidays

For Thanksgiving we ended up splitting a single day between families, but for Christmas we were able to spread things out a little bit more without trying to see everyone on the same day. I’m still pretty sure that the Tiny Princess’ sleep schedule will still get messed up and we’ll have a week or so of trying to put it back together, but it should work out better than Thanksgiving did just because of how much she’s grown.

I am making a bunch of different desserts and food to bring to all the people we’re visiting. I enjoy the cooking and it’s nice to feel confident enough about my kitchen experience that I can bring dishes and not worry about whether they will be enjoyed. It makes me feel like a semi-successful adult!

And even though I pushed most of my Christmas shopping until the last minute, I’m still feeling on top of the game. Probably because I made my decisions much easier than usual and didn’t spend weeks trying to make up my mind about certain people. There are still a few things I need to pick up this weekend, but it’s a very specific list of things, which helps a lot.

And In My Head

As far as my own personal/mental status, it varies from day to day, but I’m working towards staying in a more stable, neutral area more of the time. It’s a work in progress, as it always will be. I’ve actually been able to really settle in and enjoy more of the holiday season than I thought I was going to be able to.

I know that progress for me looks very different than it would for someone else. I’m not on a mission to defeat my depression or anxiety because that’s just not something that is going to happen for me. But becoming a mother really made me rethink my whole life and I’ve been feeling much more committed to managing my mental health on a daily basis now that I legitimately have someone depending on me for their survival. For me lately, progress has been acknowledging that I have a really big problem with perfectionism. It has been seeking help instead of drowning on my own.

I’ve been working on some journaling that my therapist asked me to do and from that project I’ve also been pulling some ideas about what I want next year to look like. As I work to adjust my planning style to really work with both my good and bad days, it does become a struggle not to just lay out a whole laundry list of goals for the new year. But we’ll chat more about that next time around.

For now, I’m just enjoying the chaos of the holiday season as best I can and it’s being a wonderful time of year thus far!

Happy Holidays and all the love and kindness for the rest of 2019!

Katharine Marie


Posted by Katharine Espinosa

Katharine is a freelance writer, editor, and aspiring author. She loves coffee, chocolate, cats, and riding her horses on the weekends. She lives in rural Texas with her husband and daughter.

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