Judgment and Insecurities

Hello dear readers,
I have not been very motivated to write this week, for probably multiple reasons, but here we are anyway! A day late, but whatever. Honestly, this might be the perfect little motivating post to write anyways, so all the better! Because I want to make a few points about dealing with judgment from other people.
Obviously, people are going to judge. Doesn’t matter what you do, and, of course, marriage and parenting are two of the top contenders. Those two things constitute some of the most important decisions you’ll make in your life, so it makes sense that those are the most sensitive areas to handle, right?

Someone is Going to Disagree

It’s never going to matter what choice you make. Someone, somewhere, will have an opinion and disagree with you. Just the facts of life. This applies to all the things: the person you date/marry, whether you choose to get married or stay single, the way you decide to have a kid, how you choose to parent that kid, whether you use time outs or lots of screen time for that kid, etc, ad nauseum. So. Many. Things. Every time you think you’ve made the best decision for yourself and your life, something likes to come along and make you question yourself. Or is that just my anxiety? Cool, just me then.
Basically what I’m saying is that nobody can ever avoid being judged in life. Nobody is going to agree 100% with your decisions. But it’s your life, so that’s okay.

Focus on What You Want

All of us have some ideal in mind when we think about what we want from our lives – and yet we all tend to compare ourselves to other people until we get so far away from the path we originally wanted. Why do we do this to ourselves? I’m very, VERY guilty of doing this all the time. Not everything in my life is exactly perfect and there are things that I want that I don’t have yet, but I’m working towards those things. Yet I still find myself comparing myself to other people and then feeling insecure because I’m not actually in that “perfect” place yet. No idea why it matters so much, but it does. I’m happy, honestly. Someone just needs to tell my anxiety that.

Know Your Reasons

Something that helps me get away from those insecurities is knowing my whys. Those ideals are great in theory, but when we actually make decisions we usually have reasons. When people judge me, I like to have those reasons to fall back on. NOT because I need to prove myself or whatever, but because if I know that I had solid reasons for a decision, I’m less likely to feel insecure because of someone’s opinion. I’ve made decisions for my daughter that some people would strongly disagree with – but because I did my research, I thought things through, and weighed everything out in my head? I know I made the right decisions for our family. That makes it so much easier to ignore a random opinion.

Find Support

Please – if you find that there is a lot of judgment in your life, but you’re still certain that you’re doing the right thing, then find someone to be in your corner. For me, I’m very blessed to have The Husband to back me up on everything. Hopefully, you have someone like that too. Maybe you need to search for a Facebook group or something similar, just so you can see that there are other like-minded people out there.
And if all else fails, just set a boundary. I talked about this a couple weeks ago. It’s hard for sure, but honestly? If people can’t respect your decisions enough to leave them alone then they don’t deserve unlimited space in your life. That’s YOUR space and you get to decide what goes there.

Do you deal with judgment about the choices you’ve made? How do you deal with it?

Love, light, and a listening ear,


Posted by Katharine Espinosa

Katharine is a freelance writer, editor, and aspiring author. She loves coffee, chocolate, cats, and riding her horses on the weekends. She lives in rural Texas with her husband and daughter.

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