Marriage after Children

Hi beautiful people!

Major apologies for not getting this up on Friday – I got online to post and discovered my website was down. So I ended up spending so much time fixing it that putting up a blog post seemed pointless afterward.

So… I am no relationship expert. Not by any means whatsoever. I just figure it out as I go along. And, like most things in life, I tend to try and stick to just a handful of basic rules while I do it. One of those rules that I knew I needed to keep in mind, way before the Tiny Princess came along, was always put your marriage relationship first.
It might be a little harsh when I put it like that, but I know myself and I know that when life gets crazy, my priorities tend to get a little out of whack. So step one: know yourself, I guess? Easier said than done, right?

Photo by Ryan Franco on Unsplash

Relationships are hard work, with or without kids in the picture. That’s just the way it is. Living together with another person is going to cause some tension and some frustration sometimes – there’s no way around it. Not having children doesn’t mean your relationship is going to be easier by any means, but if you do have them? That’s just one more factor to work around.

A big motivating factor for me has been remembering how important it is to model good behavior for children. Usually, this means emotional stuff or whatever, but I remind myself all the time that seeing a healthy, honest, and equal partnership will create positive memories for our kids. All kinds of harm can come out of seeing a negative relationship but nothing less than good can come from seeing a healthy one.

The hard work though? It’s totally worth it because the results are the best. The Husband and I are both so obsessed with our daughter – without our agreement about putting each other first, it would be very easy to get caught up in life and forget to put in the work to keep our own relationship in good shape. But when we take time for each other, to talk about how we feel or whatever we need at the moment, then we actually enjoy the parenting process so much more! We feel like we’re on the same page, we’re happier and more in love than ever.

And that’s my TED talk for the week! Now excuse me while I go cry about the fact that my baby girl is turning a whole year old tomorrow. Send help. And lots of chocolate.

Love and light and kindness,

Posted by Katharine Espinosa

Katharine is a freelance writer, editor, and aspiring author. She loves coffee, chocolate, cats, and riding her horses on the weekends. She lives in rural Texas with her husband and daughter.

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