changes

a new lifestyle

Hey fellow dreamers!

Today is Friday, my second Friday since I left my full time job. Two weeks that I’ve been a stay at home mom. Sometimes it feels like it’s been forever, but it really hasn’t been.

I never thought I would be doing this. Well, truthfully I had my doubts that I would have children at all, but once that was something I wanted, I really felt called to try and pursue work options I could do while staying home with the tiny human. Particularly as someone who wants to home-school down the road, it seemed natural to start from the beginning.

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I will say it’s definitely been an adjustment and not without it’s very, VERY hard moments. The teething, which had been kind of hit or miss, depending on the day, really hit us around the middle of last week and I’ll admit I had a few times where I missed being at work, or anywhere away from the screaming really. She still doesn’t have that ridiculous little tooth, but between the on-demand nursing, extra naps and cuddles, and the magic of chamomile, we’re surviving for right now.

I’m learning how to do a whole lot in 45 minutes while she sleeps. I honestly had no idea how much one could fit into that small space of time! I still feel like my house will never be as clean as I want it to be, but it is consistently more clean than it was before, so that’s something.

Another time I’ll talk more about how my schedules and planning tendencies go with this new change – something my therapist and I are still discussing and tweaking for my optimal mental health – but I can honestly say that working full time and being a SAHM are equally hard, it’s just in different ways.

Working full time was so SO hard for me because it felt like I never got anything done at home because from the time I got off to the time she went to bed, I wanted nothing more than to enjoy those precious moments. Then, when she did go to bed, the day really hit me and I no longer had any energy for the house chores or anything else I might have wanted to do. Emotionally I struggled a lot and the lack of sleep wore me down so much.

Being at home is… a little easier for me emotionally? I say that kind of in jest because we have had several of those days where I want the Husband to be home RIGHT NOW so I can just have a moment to myself. But I don’t miss the emotional roller coaster that being away from her was for me. My days often feel incredibly long and I’m not even quite sure what day of the month it is right now – I can keep up with the day of the week only because Husband goes to work. Sometimes it feels like I’m doing stuff all. day. long. and then in the evening it’s like my day was gone with nothing to show for it. So it’s different. Easier in some ways, harder in others.

I have so much compassion for new moms now because no matter which lifestyle you have, it’s going to be hard. That’s just what having a baby is like and everyone has to decide for themselves which path is going to work (ha ha)best for them and their family. Mom guilt is such a real thing and I know we all cry in the shower, or in the car, or wherever because we’re convinced we’re doing it all wrong. There is no right way to be a mom as long as you’re loving that baby with everything you have. That’s all that matters.

I said something about it in an Instagram post earlier this week – that success can change from day to day. It’s not a static definition. Not only does that mean that my definition will look different today than it did yesterday, but it means that my definition in general will look different from yours. The comparisons that often happen between different mothers is so unrealistic because we are all such different people.


For myself, I have zero concerns about choosing to stay at home with my beautiful daughter. Is it where I imagined myself to be at this point in my life? Not at all. But it is where I need to be right now and whether or not that changes in the future doesn’t really matter to me.


Love, light, and warm hugs, especially to all the other moms out there!

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Posted by katharine_marie in Life in 2020, mental health, Parenting, 0 comments

10 Years

Hello beautiful dreamers!

I talk a lot about goals and looking forward and trying to focus on the present and all sorts of stuff like that. Usually I try not to look way too far into the future since it kind of stresses me out, but today I’m breaking my own rule because I want to dream a little.

Today I’m playing a little game I like to call: What will my life look like in 10 years?

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I’m really not trying to plan out my life goals for the next ten years. This is just an idea if I pictured what could be possible. I know better than anyone that things don’t go according to plan, but hey, a girl can dream a little, right?

In Ten Years…

We will have a ten year old daughter (sounds crazy now!) and another child as well.

We will have that lovely little place, just a little ways outside of town that’s quiet and convenient and perfect.

I’ll have two reliable riding horses that I can jump, event, or endurance race with.

I’ll be able to work at home doing the writing and editing jobs that I love.

I will finally have my anxiety and depression consistently managed – mentally stability for the win!

I’ll actually have a completed college degree!

The financial security and independence we’re working towards right now will actually be a wonderful reality.

I will be enjoying homeschooling those previously mentioned children and having great adventures doing so.

I hope I’ll still be blogging, if the world hasn’t changed too drastically by that point. Maybe I’ll even still be at this same web address!

And finally, I will have some real finished projects – books, artwork, whatever. Just less half-finished or barely started projects laying around. Ha!


Ten years is a long time, when you think about it. Ten years ago, I had no idea what was in store for me and I had very little idea what I wanted to do with my life. It was a rough journey at times to get to where I am today but my heart is more full than I ever thought possible. Ten years from now, I can only imagine it being even more wonderful.

What do you wish for your life in ten years?


Love, light, and a multitude of kindness,

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Posted by katharine_marie in Creative Writing, Life in 2020, Life of a Writer, Lifestyle, mental health, Setting Goals, 0 comments