children

Marriage after Children

Hi beautiful people!

Major apologies for not getting this up on Friday – I got online to post and discovered my website was down. So I ended up spending so much time fixing it that putting up a blog post seemed pointless afterward.

So… I am no relationship expert. Not by any means whatsoever. I just figure it out as I go along. And, like most things in life, I tend to try and stick to just a handful of basic rules while I do it. One of those rules that I knew I needed to keep in mind, way before the Tiny Princess came along, was always put your marriage relationship first.
It might be a little harsh when I put it like that, but I know myself and I know that when life gets crazy, my priorities tend to get a little out of whack. So step one: know yourself, I guess? Easier said than done, right?

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Posted by katharine_marie in life updates, 0 comments

Babies and Sleep

Hi lovely dreamers!

Next week, my sweet baby girl turns 10 months old. I’m still not sure where the time went, but it’s going way too fast and I don’t like it. Ah well.

Before she was born, I had a lot of parenting goals, and I was really banking on instilling good sleep habits from the beginning. Easier said than done though, considering that the sleep deprivation was real and tiny babies are too cute not to be held all the time.

I read multiple books and scoured so many websites about babies and their sleep habits, and quite honestly, I got way too caught up in the various steps I should be taking to ensure the happy sleeping baby that I was wanting.

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She slept really well for the first three months and then started waking up sporadically throughout the night. Since then it’s been anyone’s guess how well she’ll sleep during the night. We’ve had some stretches of co-sleeping, issues with what seemed to be night terrors (not sure though?), and some short stretches of great nights where she only woke up once to eat. Right now we’re in the middle of what seems to be some kind of sleep regression where she’s up as many times a night as she was as a newborn. Thank heavens for coffee.

So yeah, this post is not about how to sleep train a baby or some kind of success story because as much as my goal is to have a baby that sleeps through the night, my real goal is to have a happy, healthy baby. That is the most important thing. Even if I miss my sleep something terrible. But either way, I wanted to write a little about the process so far.

Adaline has become very skilled in putting herself to sleep. She knows when nap time is, she might fuss because she doesn’t want to go to sleep, but 9 times out of 10, once I turn off the light and leave the room, I don’t hear another sound for at least an hour or two. The same goes for bedtime at night – she’s usually a perfect little angel. I love not having to spend a huge chunk of time trying to put her to sleep every day. We worked hard at those skills, using a very controlled version of Ferber sleep training. Not everyone agrees with letting babies cry on their own, and neither I nor The Husband could deal with the wailing and screaming. By the time we started working on this, I was very familiar with her different cries and could tell when she was actually upset and when she was just annoyed or fussing because she was tired. It probably took about two weeks total for her to really grasp the concept, but once she did we’ve never looked back. If she does have trouble putting herself to sleep its usually because I kept her up too long or something else that threw her routine off.

Nights like the last few where she’s up at all hours of the night make me seriously consider extinction methods of sleep training, but honestly, I would end up crying whether I was in the room with her or not, so I would much rather try to help her figure it out than just leave her be. She still strongly prefers to nurse back to sleep at night, so I’ve been attempting to wean her off of that since I know she is capable of going without the night feedings at this point. But when its 3am and you’re falling asleep in the rocking chair, its so easy to just do whatever works in the moment. Hahahh sleep deprivation. Yeah, anyways, we’re working on that. I’m preparing myself mentally to actually try and work with her during these night wakings next week, so we’ll see how it goes.

I’ve found myself wishing sometimes that people would be less judgmental about things like how babies sleep. Different things work differently for everyone. I really thought we would have it figured out by now too, but right now she still needs me during the night so that’s the way it is. I fall back on attachment parenting styles when I need the support and it makes me feel like a much better mom. I know I’m doing what’s right by my own child and regardless of what others might think about my parenting, she is happy, healthy, developing beautifully, and could not be more perfect.

That’s as much as I can find the words for on a coffee-fueled brain this week. I hope every other mom finds the support they need to feel like they are crushing it at this parenting gig!


Love, light, and kindness,

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Posted by katharine_marie in Life in 2020, Parenting, 0 comments

10 Years

Hello beautiful dreamers!

I talk a lot about goals and looking forward and trying to focus on the present and all sorts of stuff like that. Usually I try not to look way too far into the future since it kind of stresses me out, but today I’m breaking my own rule because I want to dream a little.

Today I’m playing a little game I like to call: What will my life look like in 10 years?

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I’m really not trying to plan out my life goals for the next ten years. This is just an idea if I pictured what could be possible. I know better than anyone that things don’t go according to plan, but hey, a girl can dream a little, right?

In Ten Years…

We will have a ten year old daughter (sounds crazy now!) and another child as well.

We will have that lovely little place, just a little ways outside of town that’s quiet and convenient and perfect.

I’ll have two reliable riding horses that I can jump, event, or endurance race with.

I’ll be able to work at home doing the writing and editing jobs that I love.

I will finally have my anxiety and depression consistently managed – mentally stability for the win!

I’ll actually have a completed college degree!

The financial security and independence we’re working towards right now will actually be a wonderful reality.

I will be enjoying homeschooling those previously mentioned children and having great adventures doing so.

I hope I’ll still be blogging, if the world hasn’t changed too drastically by that point. Maybe I’ll even still be at this same web address!

And finally, I will have some real finished projects – books, artwork, whatever. Just less half-finished or barely started projects laying around. Ha!


Ten years is a long time, when you think about it. Ten years ago, I had no idea what was in store for me and I had very little idea what I wanted to do with my life. It was a rough journey at times to get to where I am today but my heart is more full than I ever thought possible. Ten years from now, I can only imagine it being even more wonderful.

What do you wish for your life in ten years?


Love, light, and a multitude of kindness,

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Posted by katharine_marie in Creative Writing, Life in 2020, Life of a Writer, Lifestyle, mental health, Setting Goals, 0 comments

Introductions

Hello all you lovely, amazing readers!

If you were paying any attention at all, you might have noticed that I haven’t posted anything in about two weeks… not here, not on my Facebook page. And for good reason…

The final stretch of pregnancy is crazy. And painful and stressful and just really tiring. In a lot of ways I was very ready to be done, but in some ways I was also sad to see that season end. That’s the way life works though, right? One season ends and another one begins.

What I’m trying to say, albeit very clumsily, is that our new season – the one we’ve been anxiously waiting on, is finally here.

Our sweet daughter, Adaline Nicole, was born the morning of September 9th.

Obviously we are completely head over heels in love with her. I know I am a little over-attached and obsessed with her, even when I’m delirious from the sleep-deprivation and exhaustion. I just can’t get enough!

She was ten days early and I don’t think any of us were really expecting that, but we’ve been so blessed to have family and friends helping us make the adjustment to… well, everything. This is our first baby, we don’t exactly know what we’re doing, right? Ha!

Thankfully, there is no super dramatic birth story or craziness. I am so happy with my midwife/birth center experience – I was able to have the natural, unmedicated birth that I wanted with the people I knew and trusted around me.

So far, Adaline has been an absolute joy to have around. We’ve had a few rough nights of course but she definitely tends to be a happy, content baby – probably not that hard when you’re as adored as she is though.

My time management is a little all over the place at the moment (still adjusting!) but I will definitely be sliding right back into my writing projects as soon and as much as I can in the next few weeks. Now that my brain is slowly resurfacing, I’m missing it!

I’ll see you all early next week!


Love and kindness,

Katharine Marie

Posted by katharine_marie, 0 comments