lifestyle

March 2020 – A Closer Look

Hello beautiful readers!

March was a full blown adventure, wasn’t it? I feel like we started out strong and then slowly devolved into “the world is ending.” So that’s great. I wasn’t sure how to write this post, exactly, but then decided that I would just focus inward a little. We’re always going to remember the spring of 2020 as the time of the world pandemic, so why not take a look at some other things.

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What happened in March?

Here on Elemental Dreamer…

This was my worst month so far, blog post wise – including this one, I posted four times. Last Friday was my quarterly post, checking in on some of those ideas I was hoping to push for in 2020. Before that, I posted a little update letter to try and find some hope in the chaos of current events. And at the very beginning of the month I had a post about how I handle being interested in everything all the time.

In the Books…

Definitely my worst month to date. In the spirit of honesty, I’ve been super anxious and when I’m super anxious I read fanfiction and trashy romance novels – just a coping mechanism, I guess. I pulled out A Wrinkle in Time yesterday to make a point after we watched the latest awful movie rendition and now that it’s sitting out, I may read it. Who knows.

On the Screen…

We finally finished watching How I Met Your Mother. Since I’d already done it once, I forced Juan to make it through that horrendous final season just to reach the end.

I started watching The Voice on Hulu, and I’m enjoying this season! For some reason I love judging people on TV – a guilty pleasure maybe? I don’t know.

We watched the new live-action Dumbo, the 2018 version of A Wrinkle in Time, and a whole lot of kids cartoons.

Writing Things Down…

Sadly, I did not do any fiction writing this month. I’m really looking forward to doing a little bit in April if I get the chance. But I have been able to do some essay writing for a job and of course, journals and short essays for school!

Other Hobbies…

After half the month off, in the last week and a half, I’ve been able to get back to riding and it’s been great fun, just like always.

I’ve still been baking and cooking and not doing too bad a job! Everything gets eaten, so we’re enjoying it I guess! Last night I did cinnamon rolls and other than being a teensy bit overbaked, they were scrumptious! I need another one now….

Home and Family…

Well… as of last week, The Husband is on leave from work and we are social distancing/self isolating as best we can. That’s fun. It’s not like we ever really went out and did anything, but now the only thing we do is go to my parent’s property or out to the trails to walk. I think we’ve both been adjusting to being around each other 24/7, although the Tiny Princess doesn’t care, she’s just happy to have both of us home.

Overall, things are going well, just trying to keep our heads down until things improve around the world, and keep our positivity up. If you need something to watch, we’ve been watching Jimmy Fallon – he’s doing at-home versions of his talk show and it is weirdly inspiring and makes us smile.


Love, light, and kindness,

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Posted by katharine_marie, 0 comments

2020 Quarter One Update

Hello lovely readers,

Somehow we’ve reached the point where we do review posts, and despite the insanity that the world right now, I want to go ahead and put these up. I don’t think anyone expected 2020 to take this direction, but we’re here now so we might as well make the best of it, right?

Since this is a look at how the first quarter of the year has gone, I’m going to cover the list of objectives I made for 2020 and see what’s happened in the past three months. And, because I’m practicing positive focus, I’m going to look ahead a little too.

2020 Objectives

The top three things on my list for this year were my home life, my own business, and my horses. I can’t say my house is really any cleaner, but I do think in a lot of ways it is happier and less stressful, and that is something I’m pleased about. Keeping our home as a safe space for us means we have more energy to help others, which is something I want to do more of in the future.

I haven’t exactly started my own business yet, but for the first time, I’m actually making some decent income from my writing and that is exciting in and of itself! I’ve been loving my little side jobs and I think I’m still reeling a bit from the fact that I’m actually a good enough writer to do this.

We’ve had a few setbacks from the rain and the mucky weather, but otherwise, I’ve been spending way more time with my horse than I have in a long while. I’m really enjoying it. Especially now that I’m a stay at home mom, ‘me time’ is even more important, and riding is just that. I have a lot of ambitions about hauling out to do some shows and endurance work and whatnot, but at this point, it’s a matter of seeing what gets canceled/postponed/rescheduled. My horse saw the vet yesterday and she is proclaimed in great shape for her age – we have his approval to go ahead with all my plans!

I had a list of other things I was hoping would come to fruition this year… some are definitely happening, others are still on the fence. Without much work, while we wait for COVID-19 to pass, it’s hard to continue saving money or planning any new trips so I’m not sure how those things will play out. I have been working to cook new meals every so often, and I have a nice little morning devotional routine that usually happens if I get up on time.

I did end up going back to school – halfway through my first course right now and we already went to our first film festival of the year! Even though I haven’t done well with blogging in March, the first two months of 2020 were great (7 posts each in January and February!) so I’ll just need to get back into a routine.

Again, apart from the last few weeks, I’ve actually been quite happy with how blogging has gone this year. I’ve stuck to the schedule I made instead of constantly making stuff up last minute, for once!


I’m honestly still a little wary of 2020 at this point. Being a US election year means it was already all sorts of insane, and currently The Husband is home and we are self-isolating until… I don’t know when exactly? I know there are so many other things that have happened this year already and it’s only March. I want to say that it can only get better, but I feel like that’s asking for trouble!

If I focus inward, my personal life has been pretty great this year. I have relationships with my family and friends that are better than ever (I think). I have been blessed enough to have opportunities to really focus on healing myself and pursue my goals and dreams. Even if the world feels like it’s falling apart, I still have plenty of things to be thankful for. We can all probably find something, or a few things, to be happy about, even during this dark period.


Love, LOTS of light, and much kindness,

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Posted by katharine_marie in Life in 2020, mental health, Setting Goals, 0 comments

An Interest in Everything

Hello beautiful dreamers!

March is actually here now and I’m still a little panicky, but my planner and I had a heart to heart last night and I’m calming down. Maybe even getting a little excited again!

Today’s post is a bit of a recycled one. Kind of.

The third post I ever wrote here on Elemental Dreamer was a post I called Multiple Interests. It was a bit of a ramble that I wanted to get out at the time about a problem I’ve struggled with for most of my life – I’m interested in EVERYTHING.

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I enjoy riding my horse. I love writing. I find it so much fun to draw and paint and maybe even sculpt? I don’t know. I want to travel and learn more about vlogging and have The Husband teach me to shoot and edit films the way he does. Etc, etc, etc.

But it’s not feasible to do a million different things every day. Or even every month. I used to make goals for a month by taking all the things I was interested in at the time and choose one small project that I was going to do each month from each interest. Yeah, that didn’t work. Halfway through the month, I was usually distracted by five NEW things. So much fun. I always felt like I was failing at everything. Now, I think I was exploring everything, which sounds much more positive.

When I wrote that post almost a year and a half ago, I had no idea I was going to have a baby so soon or what my life was going to look like. I still felt like I was figuring a lot of things out.

Now? I still don’t have most of those things figured out, but I have finagled a system that seems to be working out okay so far for my strange little brain.

One. I try to spitball all my not so amazing ideas on The Husband. And then I go see my therapist and spew all that nonsense at her too. The poor people in my life.

Two. Things certainly settled after The Princess was born. At this point, I either have energy or time. Never both at the same time, so it’s hard to just jump into whatever vague idea I have at the time.

Three. I chose priorities for the YEAR. A year is a fairly long time. I guess. So I decided that for 2020, I would choose the most important things and go from there. Which ended up being family, horses, and writing.

My mind still works almost the same way it did a year and a half ago, but I’m handling it differently now and it’s been helping me to feel a little less spread out all over the place. It’s not to say that I don’t still want to do various other things, but that I’m not giving them the same level of time or energy that I might otherwise. I still have my sketchbooks and art supplies on my bookshelf so if I feel the urge to do an art project I can pull them out for a quick project. But only for a quick project, not a week-long project. That’s been my sticking point.

So much of my life seems to be figuring out what makes my brain tick and how to work with that for the best possible outcome. It’s a challenge for sure, but I think I can say that while I’m still definitely interested in a million different things, I’ve learned not to jump on every idea that comes my way. And that works for me.


Love, light, and kindness,

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Posted by katharine_marie in mental health, 0 comments

a new lifestyle

Hey fellow dreamers!

Today is Friday, my second Friday since I left my full time job. Two weeks that I’ve been a stay at home mom. Sometimes it feels like it’s been forever, but it really hasn’t been.

I never thought I would be doing this. Well, truthfully I had my doubts that I would have children at all, but once that was something I wanted, I really felt called to try and pursue work options I could do while staying home with the tiny human. Particularly as someone who wants to home-school down the road, it seemed natural to start from the beginning.

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I will say it’s definitely been an adjustment and not without it’s very, VERY hard moments. The teething, which had been kind of hit or miss, depending on the day, really hit us around the middle of last week and I’ll admit I had a few times where I missed being at work, or anywhere away from the screaming really. She still doesn’t have that ridiculous little tooth, but between the on-demand nursing, extra naps and cuddles, and the magic of chamomile, we’re surviving for right now.

I’m learning how to do a whole lot in 45 minutes while she sleeps. I honestly had no idea how much one could fit into that small space of time! I still feel like my house will never be as clean as I want it to be, but it is consistently more clean than it was before, so that’s something.

Another time I’ll talk more about how my schedules and planning tendencies go with this new change – something my therapist and I are still discussing and tweaking for my optimal mental health – but I can honestly say that working full time and being a SAHM are equally hard, it’s just in different ways.

Working full time was so SO hard for me because it felt like I never got anything done at home because from the time I got off to the time she went to bed, I wanted nothing more than to enjoy those precious moments. Then, when she did go to bed, the day really hit me and I no longer had any energy for the house chores or anything else I might have wanted to do. Emotionally I struggled a lot and the lack of sleep wore me down so much.

Being at home is… a little easier for me emotionally? I say that kind of in jest because we have had several of those days where I want the Husband to be home RIGHT NOW so I can just have a moment to myself. But I don’t miss the emotional roller coaster that being away from her was for me. My days often feel incredibly long and I’m not even quite sure what day of the month it is right now – I can keep up with the day of the week only because Husband goes to work. Sometimes it feels like I’m doing stuff all. day. long. and then in the evening it’s like my day was gone with nothing to show for it. So it’s different. Easier in some ways, harder in others.

I have so much compassion for new moms now because no matter which lifestyle you have, it’s going to be hard. That’s just what having a baby is like and everyone has to decide for themselves which path is going to work (ha ha)best for them and their family. Mom guilt is such a real thing and I know we all cry in the shower, or in the car, or wherever because we’re convinced we’re doing it all wrong. There is no right way to be a mom as long as you’re loving that baby with everything you have. That’s all that matters.

I said something about it in an Instagram post earlier this week – that success can change from day to day. It’s not a static definition. Not only does that mean that my definition will look different today than it did yesterday, but it means that my definition in general will look different from yours. The comparisons that often happen between different mothers is so unrealistic because we are all such different people.


For myself, I have zero concerns about choosing to stay at home with my beautiful daughter. Is it where I imagined myself to be at this point in my life? Not at all. But it is where I need to be right now and whether or not that changes in the future doesn’t really matter to me.


Love, light, and warm hugs, especially to all the other moms out there!

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Posted by katharine_marie in Life in 2020, mental health, Parenting, 0 comments

Moving is Chaos

Hello lovely folks and fellow dreamers!

As I mentioned in Monday’s post, we moved out of our apartment last week! We finally found a place that, while not being any bigger that what we had, is a million times better as far as neighborhood, quality, etc. All the things that were important to me with the impending addition of a tiny human.

But as we all know, moving can be complete chaos. It’s been a bit rough and crazy, but mostly just exhausting. We’re both super tired and trust me, we’re not even completely unpacked yet.

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I had well laid plans and great intentions for packing and moving everything in a timely and orderly way. But good grief, packing is ridiculously hard when you’re eight months pregnant. Well… in reality, just about everything is hard. But the physical exertion of just filling two or three boxes with just clothes was enough for one evening. So, we can just say that things didn’t go according to my “well laid plans.”

We were also faced with the fact that we have way too much stuff. I love a more minimalist aesthetic, but we are so far from that idea it’s a little funny. Because I wasn’t able to pack up as much stuff as I wanted to ahead of time I wasn’t able to sort through everything as much as I originally planned. But we’ve still been able to get rid of a lot of clutter and I plan to sort through things a little more as I unpack boxes.

I need to do a shout-out to my family – they have been absolutely AMAZING. My dad brought his truck and trailer and between him, my brother, and The Husband they were able to move all the furniture down from our second floor apartment and across town to the new place. In the triple digit Texas heat, no less. I felt so bad for them, especially since I have a piano that practically weighs a ton by itself. And my mom – she packed up so much of the house on her own and has been helping me clean. Let’s just say I felt very useless the whole time and still everything got done.

And the cats… oh goodness… they are certainly figuring things out. Giovanni despises moving or packing or anything related to that so he has been a real piece of work. Moriarty just thought it was all the best game ever! I mean, boxes everywhere, right? But they’re slowly settling in. I think they still feel a bit out of place – and they’ve been waking me up at 6am or earlier since we started spending the night. So that’s fun. Time will help them adjust though.

Of course I wish the place was a little bit bigger. In reality the floor space is probably very similar to the apartment but the layout is very different. But we are definitely losing closet space and I’m having to work around that fact.

The entire place has concrete flooring – which while it might not be ideal is really not a big issue. We’re going to invest in some area rugs and cushy mats for the kitchen, which will help a great deal. And we’ve already noticed that the place just feels a lot cooler than the apartment did, part of which I’m sure if because we’re ground level now, but also the concrete floor just stays cool.

My favorite things? Oh dear…

  • The backyard, especially the adorable horses across the fence!
  • The kitchen is bigger. So, SO nice.
  • A laundry room! Granted, we still need to acquire a washer/dryer, but at least there’s a place to put them!
  • No. More. Stairs.
  • The quiet feeling of being almost in the country. We’re in a neighborhood right on the edge of town and it is gloriously quiet and relaxed.
  • Did I mention the stairs being nonexistent? It. Is. Fabulous.

The next housing goal is, of course, to own our own place and we plan to work towards that after the baby gets here. Whether that will be just buying a house or actually building something, we’re not sure. But for right now? I think we’re content just to settle in, work towards some financial goals, and not rush into anything. We found what we think will be a lovely place to bring Baby A home to and that is all that matters right now.

Originally I was going to share a couple of pictures, but without internet at the house for the week my options were more limited – but I plan to share pictures in a couple weeks when I have things more organized. Right now everything is in the middle of unpacking and rather a mess so I’m okay keeping it to myself! So stay tuned if you’re interested in the “finished” product!


Love and kindness,

Katharine Marie

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Thrills and Fears

Hello you fabulous readers!

This week kind of feels like a rollercoaster for some reason. And it’s only Tuesday!

In case you don’t keep up with me on social media, I was finally able to announce yesterday that I’m taking my writing hobby on a new adventure and finally making the push into the freelancing world as a writer and editor!

Now you can check out my new professional website while I slowly figure out how to break my way into jobs and side gigs that I really love spending time on! I’m a whole mix of terrified and excited because this is what I’ve wanted to do for a long time but have never had the courage or drive to really go for it.

But anyways… starting my new business isn’t what I wanted to write about today. Not really. Or at least not quite yet. We’ll come back to it.

Today I want to talk a little bit about the thoughts, the thrills, and the fears that I have about the other adventure I’m embarking on… the one where I become a parent.

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I wasn’t the girl that grew up dreaming about the perfect wedding or knowing that one day I would become a mom. Nothing against those things themselves, but just that I had other priorities and interests that kept me busy.

It makes me cringe because it’s so cliché but I only started being interested in having kids after my husband and I got together. We’re not going to talk about why that might have happened, but that’s the way it was.

But even after we had talked about it and decided that children were in our future, it still didn’t really sink in just what I was getting myself into. Even now, there are a lot of things about the whole situation that scare me to death and if I wasn’t on this adventure with the person I am I probably would have already died of panic. (Sorry, anxiety talking!)

The logical, rational, thinking side of me keeps me kind of sane. I know that my husband and I are an incredibly good team, that we have the same values and ideas, and that we’ll be able to handle this. I’m aware that I have a big group of friends and family that live nearby who will be able to help me learn what I need to know and take on some of the work when I need the backup.

I am super blessed to have a full-time job right now that is supportive and understanding of how real life works so that I’m not stressed about that adjustment after baby A arrives.

Then there’s the terrified aspect… I am very aware of the fact that I don’t know a lot about taking care of a baby. Honestly I only learned a few months ago how important it is not to leave blankets or pillows in a crib with a newborn. I didn’t really babysit as a teenager and I wasn’t all that interested in small children so information like that never really stuck in my mind.

I’m really scared that I’ll do something wrong and she’ll never be able to sleep on her own at night. I’m afraid that the cats aren’t going to get along with her and I’ll be forced to choose (thankfully I already have a long list of ideas on how to fix this problem if it arises).

And somewhere in the middle of all that fear and panic is the realization that I am already completely smitten with our baby girl. I already love her more than I ever thought I possibly could and even though its still scary I am so excited to be able to show her just how important she is to me and to her dad (who might be even more in love with her than I am). It’s humbling (and frightening) to think that she is going to rely on us for everything, that we’re completely responsible for her.

But the whole adventure is so thrilling too because even now already, before we’ve even met her, she is exactly what we hoped for and so much more than we could have dreamed of.

So the rollercoaster of emotions and anxiety and panic? It’s all there because I never realized how much the process of becoming a parent would take over my entire life.

But I wouldn’t have it any other way.


Love and kindness…

Katharine Marie

Posted by katharine_marie in Anxiety, 0 comments