Two months of #momlife

Hey there lovely readers!

I totally failed at putting up a post earlier this week – when it came down to it, I was more focused on getting words written on my Nanowrimo project than I was on writing a new blog post. But today I must write on both projects, I suppose!

Last Saturday marked two months since little Adaline was born. It’s been a roller coaster, to be sure, but its definitely the adventure of a lifetime.


The Tiny Princess doesn’t seem so tiny any more. She’s grown so much, her personality is starting to come out more and more, and we are still over the moon and totally obsessed with her.

Being a little family is my favorite part so far. It makes me happier than I can explain to watch The Husband play with and take care of her. Even though I miss getting a full night of sleep, I’m also not ready to give up those moments at 2am when I get to bring her into bed and cuddle with her while she eats.

I already feel like time is slipping away from me far too fast. I wish I wasn’t working so that I could spend all my time playing with her and watching her learn new things. That has been the hardest thing for me so far – she is generally very happy and engaged in the mornings, but I don’t get enough time to really enjoy it since I have to get ready to leave the house at a certain time.

I’ve mostly adjusted to being a mom now, and of course I still struggle with certain things, especially the fact that it is ten times harder to juggle all the things that need done at home before and after work when there is a small human that requires my attention first. That and if I thought I was tired before she came along, it was nothing compared to this. Thankfully, for my own sanity, she’s a very good girl and generally wakes up to eat and goes straight back down. She almost never cries or stays up in the middle of the night.

Complete honesty is that I have definitely dealt with both postpartum depression AND anxiety and both are very difficult. I’m still dealing with both at times, but I’ve been getting the help I need and things are going much better now.

Overall, we might have some rough days and I might feel like I’m losing my mind or falling apart half the time, but I’ve never been more blessed than I am right now. We could not have a more perfect little princess to love on and take care of and being her mom is the most amazing thing to ever happen to me.

Love and kindness,

Katharine Marie

Posted by Katharine Espinosa in mental health, 0 comments

One Year On

Hi there, lovely readers!

I’m making an exception today and writing about someone else – I try to protect the people in my life by using very few pictures or details about them.

But Sunday is my wedding anniversary and I can’t let it go by without saying at least a few things about this past year and my husband, who has turned out to be quite fantastic, if I’m allowed to brag just a little bit.

This time last year I honestly had no idea what I was getting myself into. I had so many fears and doubts and I was still absolutely terrified of the idea of a life-long commitment. As someone who has anxiety about so many things, it was easy to get caught up in the aspect of just how huge this promise was that I was making to someone else.

But even though I was (and still kind of am) a little phobic about commitment, it never occurred to me not to go through with marrying Juan. Everything I was scared of held absolutely no significance compared to how much I wanted him in my life. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was my person and he always would be.


He’s quite handsome too. That helped a lot.

That day, a year ago, was the best day of my life. Over the last year I’ve become a lot less terrified, probably because once I went through with it, there was no longer any choice to be anxious about. I might worry that I’m messing things up or not fulfilling my side of the relationship, but I’m not worried about whether or not I made the right choice. I am still 100% certain about that fact.

Learning how to live and communicate with someone else has been a huge learning curve – and don’t think I’m anywhere near figuring it out. I had a roommate before we got married but that was entirely different of course. I didn’t have to think about how messy her side of the closet was or whether she was going to expect me to cook dinner when I got off work. Quite a different arrangement with a husband that you can’t exactly get away from!

Since I’m not a great communicator to begin with, it’s taken me a long while to learn how to handle some things. I avoid conflict like the plague normally, but when avoiding isn’t exactly an option? I might have had more than a few irrational moods and emotional meltdowns. Not great, I know.

I should probably actually check in with Juan on this point, but I would like to say that I’ve been able to relax and ease up a little bit and I don’t cause arguments quite as often as I did at one time. But I also know I still have a LOT to work on, don’t worry!

Those are more of the negative things though and really, this past year has been fabulous in so many ways. It still amazes me just how well we get along and are able to work together. Sometimes it seems like we’re the same person, but with just enough differences so that we don’t bore each other.


Still sweeping me off my feet, every day!

I love to write, while he loves to create films, and we’re able to bounce story ideas off each other ridiculously well, which is awesome. I so enjoy being able to do that.

For whatever reason, despite the fact that he doesn’t really like horses, he still encourages me to enjoy that hobby as much as I can – or he will again once I’m no longer pregnant!

He’s always pushing me to be amazing and strong, and trust me, sometimes I want to knock him over the head for it because geez, just let me be pathetic and miserable for once, right? Seriously though, he is very good for me and I don’t think it’s bragging to say that I’ve become a slightly better version of myself over the last year because of him.


No words, just permanent dance partners!

All of this is to say that I am incredibly happy to be married to this man and I wouldn’t trade a single day. He’s the best friend and partner I could have asked for. I can’t wait to see where life takes us.

I love you, Juan! Here’s to the rest of our lives!

Love and kindness,

Katharine Marie

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